Chirag Kansara (Ahmedabadi)

Sensitivity

// December 23rd, 2010 // No Comments » // Personal

We know ‘extreme’ of anything is dangerous but when we are dealing with our feelings, thoughts and perceptions, the term ‘extreme’ gets relative, you cannot gauge it with constants or parameters.

Sensitivity and emotions are perhaps the major feelings that make us different from other animals.  Humans have extreme emotions and we ‘share’ it a lot. However, should we really be a sensitive or it is good to be insensitive?

I was told by many wise people (including experts) that don’t be too sensitive, be practical; you get more pain if you are sensitive. The main causes of all our problems in life are expectations and fear. I was told that you have more fears if you are sensitive. You cry more, your heart gets break many times, you lose and you also get disturbed a lot if you are a sensitive person. They say if you are sensitive you are ‘prone’ to be getting disturbed and unhappy.

However, I am still not able to understand the term ‘sensitive’ clearly yet. Are emotions and sentiments causing sensitivity? Being emotional is being sensitive?  If I am concerned about my family and friends, am I too sensitive?

Some people argue that there is nothing wrong in being sensitive and it does not make you unhappy, the term that makes us unhappy is ‘expectations’. If you love someone (being sensitive?) you don’t get unhappy but you get unhappy when same person doesn’t love you.  If this is so then it is not our sense/sensitiveness which makes us unhappy but it is insensitivity of the other person which causes the problem.

Sometimes we are also told to be a ‘practical’, so basically we are advised to be smart, matured and not to feel bad if someone does not reciprocate your feelings, it happens. Don’t venture to love, help or share as you may not get same response!

Basically, we are asked to be ‘Insensitive’ to someone’s insensitivity’ and make your feelings dynamic so you keep feeling good and bad based on response you get! We should allow others (their response) to decide if we should feel happy or bad.

I think there is some individuality involved and we cannot really generalize whether we should be sensitive or not. It should leave to us to decide and we do what makes us and our life happy.

Change and consistency about self

// July 8th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // Life, Personal

I think there are thousands of quotes and sayings about the ‘change’ and we know that it is (change) a way of life, it is an inevitable.  Everything is changing around us and perhaps, at lightning speed. However, for me, the most interesting aspect of change is ‘change in individuality’;’ personality’ and most importantly ‘change in our thoughts and beliefs’.

I sometimes laugh at myself when I think of my thoughts at different age; when I think of my opinions and thoughts at age of 15-20 years, some of them seem quite absurd and funny. They seem quite irrelevant and illogical. What I was thinking about an employer as an employee was absolutely different than what I think about an employee and employer today. What we (or shall is say I?) were thinking about a ‘wife’ before a marriage and what we are thinking about her after a marriage is absolutely different (Don’t take me wrong, I am only talking from ‘personality’ standpoint!).

One of my friends told me a very interesting story which is quite relevant here. One friend was telling to his friend

“When I was at age of 10,I thought my father is a stupid and he does not understand anything. At age of 15 I believed that my father has not matured yet and he needs to learn a lot. When I reached at  25 I felt that my father still needs to get more matured and now at age of 35 having two kids, I firmly believe that my father is absolutely right and he was always matured and experienced person. Whatever he did was the best that could have been done by anybody in given circumstances.”

This is about how a Son feels about his father during different stages of life but, same is true when we think about our beliefs about ourselves. At some age I was thinking that I am very strong person and have very strong control on my circumstanced but today I don’t. My views about few individuals or I can say about all individuals have change drastically over a period of time.

I know this a natural and obvious, however, does this mean I was wrong at some stage and I am right today? Does this mean, we are wrong today and we will be right in future with more experience and information? If this is the case then it seems illogical to have any strong views or statements at any stage of life (time) as we know it is going to change.
But, I don’t think so, we have full rights to make statements and have views based on the information and knowledge we have at this stage.  If judgments and conclusions are relative why we should be bother about them. I might feel same about my blog tomorrow that I was wasting my time but does this mean I should stop today?

Osho says

“Consistent person is an idiot!”